SHIVANI: THE PRICE OF SURVIVAL

Over the following days, Saroja explained the practical realities of living in Mumbai.

She discussed accommodation, expenses, personal safety, and the dangers of depending entirely on strangers. She also described the way some sex workers presented themselves to prospective clients.

Shiva listened because he had nowhere else to turn.

One afternoon, Saroja brought a few outfits into his room.

“These are only things you can try if you want,” she said. “You do not have to wear anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

Shiva looked at the garments uncertainly. He had never imagined himself wearing a saree or a feminine outfit.

Saroja suggested that he begin with a simple traditional dress. She helped him arrange his long hair and showed him how to use a mirror and basic cosmetics.

When Shiva finally looked at his reflection, he felt a strange mixture of embarrassment, confusion, and disbelief.

“This doesn't feel like me,” he admitted.

“Then take your time,” Saroja replied.

She told him that appearances could change, but identity was more complicated. She had seen people adopt different names for work, privacy, or personal reasons, and she suggested that he think about whether he wanted a separate name for himself.

“Shivani,” she said thoughtfully. “It is a beautiful name.”

Shiva repeated it quietly.

He did not immediately accept it. It sounded like the name of a stranger, someone whose life he knew nothing about.

But that night, as he folded his clothes and placed them inside his suitcase, he wondered whether a new name might eventually help him separate his future from his painful past.

He was not ready to become someone else.

He was only beginning to understand how much of his life had been decided by other people.