Chapter 14 — Learning to Be Himaja
By the time the lockdown restrictions eased, Hemanth had changed in ways that were difficult to explain.
He still attended his classes, completed assignments, and spoke to his family. But he had also begun exploring a side of himself he had hidden for years.
With Swetha's support, he tried different outfits: simple kurtis, pastel chudidhars, long skirts, and traditional sarees. They experimented with subtle makeup, earrings, bangles, and different hairstyles.
Some days he preferred a loose ponytail. On other days he enjoyed wearing his hair in soft waves or a long braid decorated with jasmine.
Swetha never treated the experiments as a test he had to pass. If Hemanth disliked an outfit, they folded it away. If a hairstyle felt uncomfortable, they tried another.
Slowly, the experience became less about transformation and more about self-understanding.
One afternoon, Swetha arranged several outfits on the bed and asked which one he wanted to try.
Hemanth selected a sky-blue saree.
He took his time getting dressed, learning how to arrange the pleats and drape the pallu comfortably. Swetha helped with the final adjustments, then stepped aside so he could look in the mirror alone.
For several seconds, Hemanth said nothing.
The reflection was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He saw the same eyes, the same smile, and the same person who had once stood nervously outside the college gates.
Yet something about the moment felt deeply personal.
“I've been thinking about a name,” he said.
Swetha turned toward him.
“Himaja.”
He spoke it quietly at first, then repeated it with greater confidence.
“I think I want to be called Himaja.”
Swetha's face softened.
“Does it feel right to you?”
Hemanth considered the question. He did not know what every part of his future would look like, but the name gave him a sense of peace.
“Yes,” he said. “It does.”
“Then I will call you Himaja.”
The simple acceptance moved Himaja more than any compliment about her appearance could have done.
She had not suddenly become a different person. She was still the same person who loved music, worried about examinations, and sometimes became frightened when others judged her.
But she was beginning to understand herself with greater honesty.
That evening, Swetha helped her place a small note beside the mirror:
My name is Himaja. My life is mine to discover.
Himaja read the words several times.
For the first time, the future seemed less like a test she had to survive and more like a life she could begin to shape.
Discussion (0)