It was going to be my twentieth birthday in a week’s time. The college had to be closed for in-person classes due to the covid pandemic, and hence everyone was attending classes online. As a young guy, I spent my time gaming or working on my pc most of the time. Only my mom was there in the house as my father was stuck in Dubai due to the stoppage of international air traffic.
“Beta, can you please give me your phone?” my mom asked.
“Why? What happened?”
“Arey, I have to order something on Amazon. On Prime, I can get it quicker. And since I don’t have Prime, I would like it if you can help me out.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Mom took the phone and confirmed the order. While handing it over, I felt a funny look on her face, but I ignored it and went back to my game.
“Again game…? Betu, you are not doing any physical activity. See how much weight you have put on.”
It was true. I had put on a lot of weight. It wasn’t as if I was an athletic guy otherwise, but I had gained some weight due to constantly sitting on my computer and eating at home. On the other hand, my mom used to do regular yoga and was still fit for a 48-year-old woman.
“I will do it, mom. But please let me play right now.”
Mom asked the next day, waking me up for my laptop, saying that she needed to send a mail and her laptop battery had died. I mentioned my password and asked her to help herself, going back to sleep.
I woke up about half an hour later and asked if she was done. She looked up at me from the laptop, smiled and said, “Yes betu, thank you.”
She stopped me and asked, “Is there anything specific you want for your birthday? You can ask for anything, and you will get it, as long as it was in my budget.”
“Mom, you can get me anything. I trust your judgment. Though, I would love to have some new clothes. These old clothes don’t fit me. See, all my t-shirts have turned into blouses.” I joked.
“That’s because you don’t work out as I have asked. And what’s wrong with a blouse? Even I wear a blouse.”
“Yes, but you also wear a saree, Maa. You don’t walk with an exposed midriff.” That was an exaggeration on my part. My midriff wasn’t exposed, but sometimes the t-shirts would come up, exposing my belly when I stretched.
“Okay, then I will get you a saree to stop the exposure.”
I was taken aback and looked at her. She was giggling at the joke.
“Haha, very funny.” I retorted. “Do what you please, maa.”
The next few days were regular without any incident. I spent the days studying or playing games. But I also started assisting mom in chores and did some beginner’s yoga with her.
Mom came to my room on birthday eve at midnight and wished me a happy birthday. I went to the pooja room, took god’s blessings, returned to my room, and touched her feet.
She hugged me and said, “I am so proud of you. You are the best child one can ask for. I will always be there for you, no matter what.”
“Thank you, maa. Where’s my gift?”
“Oh, in such a hurry! I haven’t forgotten beta. But your gifts are in my room.”
“No problem. Let’s go.”
The mom-son duo went to the other room. I sat on the bed, looking at at least three Amazon parcels.
“Is this the compensation for the last three birthdays I spent at college? Why take so much trouble? Ek se bhi kaam chal jata na. (One would be enough, ma)”
“It’s my love for you, beta. Hope you like them all.”
“Thank you, maa. I am sure I would love them. Your choice has always been on point. Shall I open them now?”
“Oh yes, I would love you to. I want to see your reaction.”
I opened the first box and found hot denim pants and a frilly maroon top in XXL size.
“Seems like a wrong parcel.” I smiled sheepishly at my mom.
“Is it? Shit, I had planned so much for you. No worries…please check the other boxes.”
I opened the second box and found a pastel pink saree, a readymade blouse and a petticoat.
“Again? Amazon has really messed up the order, mom.”
I could see the smile on my mom’s face vanishing and a cloud of apprehension looming on it, seeing that gift opening was not going as well as she thought.
“Let’s try the third parcel, beta.”
I opened the third parcel and found a make-up kit.
“Yaar maa, Amazon had to mess up the delivery, and it had to happen on my birthday. Now you will have to return it all, and we have to wait sometime to get the actual gifts.”
I could see mom thinking something.
“What are you thinking, mom. It is just a case of wrong delivery. I am sure you thought of something memorable. It is not your fault that Amazon made the error. Now we just have to wait some more days.”
“Actually…”
“Yes, mom?”
“Actually, we can keep it and then we don’t have to wait for the exchange.”
“Umm…what?”
“Beta, if you want, we can keep these. And if you decide to keep these, I have something else to go with them as well.”
“Wait, wait, wait…Why would we decide to keep these? These are women’s clothes. And it is not even your size. And what will you give me?”
My heart rate had increased. It seemed like something I feared was finally happening.
“Beta, remember the other day I borrowed your phone. I could see wigs and female dresses in the search history. The next day, when I borrowed your laptop, your inbox popped up when I opened Gmail, and I could see newsletters from crossdressing sites. I am sorry for doing that, but I peeped into it.”
“Mom…” I could not find words to say.
“Beta, I understand what you are going through and why you wanted to keep it to yourself. I can only imagine how many emotions, feelings, and thoughts you have kept within yourself. And I am sorry if I could not evoke enough trust for you to share it with me. But now that I know, it is okay. I am okay with it and, in fact, support you for doing it. So, you see, the parcels have not been exchanged. They are at the right address. And if you decide against return or exchange, then this parcel would help you.” Saying this, mom took a parcel out of her cupboard and handed it over. It had Zivame written over it.
“Sleep over it. Let me know in the morning.”
Saying this she took all the parcels to my room and put it beside my bed. I came in after her and sat on my bed.
“Happy birthday, once again.” Mom said while closing the door on her way out.
I thought how I could be so dumb not to delete the histories or give her the password. I thought if mom was genuine in her gesture or if this was a trap. I don’t know what conversations we would have if I agreed to this. What will my father think? There were a ton of questions that I could not get an answer to, and I eventually slept thinking all these.
When I woke up the following day, it seemed that I had seen a weird dream. My mom somehow came to know about my affinity for cross-dressing and gave me female clothing for my birthday. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, and my eyes went to the gifts I had received last night.
“Oh shit, it was not a dream.” And all those questions from last night started to replay.
At last, I thought I would trust my mom and accept the gifts. We will face the fallout when the time comes.
Now the decision was what to wear. It was too early, and I could not wear a saree myself, so I decided to go with the top and shorts. I looked inside the Zivame parcel and found that mom had bought two sets of bras and panties. One was pink in colour, and the other was in red. I understood that the pink ones are for the saree and selected the red set for the day. I picked the top, shorts and lingerie and went to the bathroom. I opened the cabinet to find a new female razor and shaving cream. I used them to shave off the hair on my chest, underarms, arms, legs, and tush. After satisfying myself with my handiwork, I stepped into the shower. I picked up my mom’s shampoo and body wash instead of my usual ones for a change. Once I was done drying myself, I looked at my ensemble hanging from the door’s hook.
I picked the panties first and slid them over my legs. Next came the bra. It was lightly padded up, but the accumulated fat on my body helped me fill the cups nicely. Then I wore the denim shorts followed by the top. The top hugged just under my bust, and then there was a frilly detail below it. It helped in covering my belly nicely. The first thought that came to my mind was that I needed to lose weight to look good.
I twisted and turned in front of the mirror to see if everything looked okay. I parted my hair, which had increased a bit in length due to the closure of salons, in a feminine way. I lightly applied the lipstick and kajal that I found in the cabinet. I would not say that I looked like a bomb, but yes, in my mind, I could draw a second look from onlookers.
Happy from my adventure, I went out and saw mom busy in the kitchen. I went to the door. As I was walking, the confidence that had built up while looking at myself in the mirror had drained from my body. But two steps away from the kitchen, I suddenly regained my courage. I went to the door and said, “Mom, how am I looking?”
I smiled, raised my hands, and made a turn.
I could see my mom’s eyes welling up. She came to me and hugged me.
“You are looking so pretty, beta. God bless you. Thank you for accepting the gifts.”
“How couldn’t I maa? This is the best birthday gift ever!”
“Chalo, mom has a lot of things to talk about with her daughter.”
