It was early in the morning 6.00AM, alarm rang. Snoozed for 5 mins. Again same alarm. With much difficulty, I got up. Brushed and prepared coffee for myself, started preparing breakfast, lunch box for my hubby and daughter. At around 7.30AM, started waking my 4 year old daughter for school and started preparing for her school. I watched the time it is around 8.00AM. I went close to my hubby, gave a kiss on his forehead and wished him good morning. He smiled and wished the same. I told him, I am going out to ensure Veda(daughter) gets into her school bus. After I came out, my hubby (Raghu) getting ready. In the meantime, I prepared breakfast and was ready. He came to the room and normally I feed him with my hands and he will be reading the newspaper. By about 8.30AM I am alone at house doing the house hold work and maintaining the other things. As the festival season approaching, I asked my servant maid to come early today. While cleaning, I got my old photo album. I took that to my heart and asked the servant maid to clean the house. It was around 11.30 AM cleaning was done. She left the house and I took my bath and tied the towel around my chest, stood towards taking another salwar kameez which I normally wear at home. But somehow, I felt like wearing the saree today. I took pink colour petticoat, matching panty and bra. Took the cotton saree and wore it
finished my pooja and other things. Finished my lunch. In the meantime, finished talking to my mother for about 15 to 20 mins. After finishing my food, I took the old photo albums and started seeing my self how I was looking when I was young. My name is Rajini. I was born as a boy. Yes. This is true. My name was Rajesh. I am the youngest kid to my parents. I have one elder brother. Now he is in US with his family. Let me share my story:
I was born in a small town with a problem of ambiguous genitalia, which my parents were not aware when I was born and science was not so advanced those days. So when I was born, Doctor declared that baby boy was born. All my relatives were very happy. But my Mom and Dad wanted a baby girl, but they took me as a god’s gift. Soon after the delivery mom got vasectomy operation. My childhood was very memorable growing up as a boy and my dad’s business went on to became big after I was born. Dad always says that I brought Lakshmi (Goddess) to the house. I still remember that I rarely used to go outside play with other boys. I always used to be at home reading stories, colouring or helping my mother in the kitchen. The life went on very smooth till my 11 years age. I was the first ranker in the class and always a good child. It was during my 6th standard during the Dasara festival celebration, I suffered severe stomach pain. That time my house was filled with lot of guests as we were celebrating the success of our business. When I was complaining about my stomach pain, my brother took me to the general physician and he gave normal medicine and on the way back home, my brother (Vamsi) bought Lime soda for me and we reached back home. Though it was there for the next two days, I did not complain much as parents were busy with guests. After guests went back, my mother verified my trousers and observed that there are blood stains. She got very scared, asked me what happened. As I had no clue about it, I said I do not have any idea. And then she verified with Vamsi as he took me to the Doctor. After my dad, she discussed with him and he mentioned probably because of the body heat. She mentioned me that if I get stomach pain, do not neglect and inform me first. Due to this, she made sure
And everything was going on well for the next 15 to 20 days. Roughly after the month, on Sunday morning I got up from my bed and was suffering severe stomach pain. I called my mom from bed and she came running towards me. My brother gone to tuition as he was in 10th standard by that time. I told her I can’t bear this stomach pain. She took me to her lap and observed that bed sheet has blood stains, she took me to the washroom and cleaned my body and I was crying with pain. She observed from where I was getting the blood. She was shocked to see that I have both testicle and vagina which is very small. She could not believe how to convince me. She brushed my teeth and made me bath immediately. She asked me to stay in washroom. She went out and came with sanitary napkin. She fixed in my underwear and made me ready and asked me to sit in the room and not to come out. In the next 30 mins, dad came back from walking and both discussed for long. I could sense from the discussions that my mom was crying. After 1 hour, mom took an appointment with her lady doctor. After verifying me, she asked me to take me to Bangalore which is close to our small town. Infact we were planning to shift to Bangalore after Vamsi’s 10th standard. Immediately, me and my parents left to Bangalore and my brother to stay in my aunt’s house. Journey was just about 3 hours. We went straight away to meet the doctor and before meeting the doctor, my mom took me to the washroom and changed the sanitary napkin. I kept on asking her what is happening to me. But my mom, smiled at me and said do not worry everything will be fine. But I could sense from my mom’s eyes that something was wrong.
Finally after waiting for 1 hour, I got my turn. Doctor checked me completely and written lot many tests for me. By the time we finished our tests it was around 6 in the evening. As we could not get the results, we stayed in our guest house that night. I stayed for about 1 hour alone and in the meantime, my mom brought night gown for me . I was shocked at night, when she asked me to wear it. She mentioned as you are suffering from stomach pain, better you wear this cloth. Me and mom slept in the room and Dad slept in the hall. I slept very early as it was painful day. When I got up in the morning around 7.30 , I could sense that both mom and dad has not slept entire night. We got an appointment with Doctor at 9.00 AM. As dad is a businessman, he has lot of connections and got the appointment very easily. After seeing my reports, I have been admitted to the hospital. Dad has taken special room which is air conditioned and has a TV. I asked mom, why I have been admitted and told her that now I do not have stomach pain. Mom was very silent and asked me not to speak and just asked me to relax. But I was not ready and shouted at her. She was about to slap me and then Dad immediately hugged me and said, “dear it is just normal. Mom is not well, do not ask questions to her”.
After this, dad told me , both me and mom are going out for 30 mins, will be back soon and you please watch TV. Those were the days even the incoming call in the mobile used to chargeable. But dad used to have the mobile phone. He asked me to call from the phone which is next to my bed in case of emergency. For the next two days, mom ensured to change the napkin for every 4 to 5 hours. It smelled very bad. After two days, I was about to meet the psychiatrist. She gave my favorite chocolate and asked me how am I feeling now.
Me : I am fine now, but not sure why I am in hospital
Psychiatrist : Are you not liking this hospital?
Me : No. I am missing my school, friends and my brother
Psychiatrist : Ok..thats not a problem, your brother will come here if you want
Me : No, I want to go back home.
Psychiatrist : Tell me what games you like?
Me : As such, I like all the games
Psychiatrist : I mean do you like outdoor or indoor games
Me : normally I prefer indoor games. I do not like outdoor games
Psychiatrist : Why, any reason?
Me : Nothing like that. I just like to be at home, doing colouring, reading and like to spend time at home
Psychiatrist : What you read most apart from school books?
Me : I like to read comic books like Chandamama, Famous five. I like Vikram- Betaal stories very much
Psychiatrist : Are you not scared?
Me : No. I love those stories
Psychiatrist : Do you know why you are admitted to the hospital?
Me : I have stomach pain and whenever I am getting pain, I am getting blood from below.
Psychiatrist : and what?
Me : It is very painful when I suffered first time. But now it is not much pain. It comes once in a while. I am fine now
Psychiatrist : Dear, let me ask you question. Will you answer?
Me: why are you asking so many questions?
Psychiatrist : Sorry, I just like you and want to spend time with you. Tell me about your friends.
Me : I have so many friends
Psychiatrist : Tell me about your close friends name?
Me : Her name is Deepa.
Psychiatrist : Why do you like her?
Me : She also likes colouring and she gives me her crayons and we don’t fight and she does not tease me when I say I don’t like outdoor games.
Psychiatrist : Does anyone teases you?
Me : Yes. My classmates and my games sir.
Psychiatrist : Do you know only girls like indoor games and I think that’s why they tease you. Have you complained to your mom that they tease you?
Me : No.
Psychiatrist : In your comic stories, have you read any story where a boy changes to girl in one day?
Me : No.
Psychiatrist: Think for example, if you are changed from boy to girl, how will you react?
Me : I don’t know. I am happy as I am. How will change to girl?
Psychiatrist : I agree. Just think if you are changed as a girl, I think no body will tease you for not playing the outdoor games, you can play indoor games and you can help your mom in kitchen and you will be dressed in beautiful clothes. What you say..
Me: I am bored talking to you..let me go now
After this, I went to my ward. My parents met the Psychiatrist, she mentioned still Rajesh did not understood what he is undergoing. From the reports it is very clear that he cannot take a male form of life. He should be mentored to take the female life, else he might get cancer and will be tough if he survives. We need to start the medication at the earliest. With these words, my mom started crying loud and dad could not control her.
Mom and Dad both came to room and were silent for about 30 mins. Both started the discussion at the same time asking me how am I feeling. I said I am fine. I told them that I want to go home and want to attend school. It is very boring here. Mom came towards me and holded myhand and said, “ dear, I want to tell you one thing now. Listen carefully and be calm”.
Me : Yes. Tell me that we are going back home. I don’t want to stay in hospital. I am tired of so many blood tests, x-ray and other tests.
Mom eyes were red and felt like she was about to cry. Looking at her, I controlled and said, tell me what you want to say.
Mom : You are our sweet darling and you are one on thousands who has a small problem with your body. And listen carefully. You are not a boy, but you are girl.
Me : How can this happen? How come my stomach pain can change me to a girl
Dad : Dear, when you were born you were born with combination of both male and female organs, but now your female organs are more than the male organ. So from now on you will be a girl
I was not at all ready for this shock and confused.
Me : I am not able to understand.
Mom ; You love me right, and sometimes you used to tell me that you want to be like me. Now you can really be like me. You can dress in beautiful clothes
Me : But how will I attend the school, my friends will tease me. I cant attend the school as a girl and I cant show myself to my friends and teachers. Please leave me alone.
With this, Dad could not control his emotions, he left me and mom in the room. We both discussed for a long time and she convinced me that if I do not agree to change as a girl , I will be seeing major problems which will impact my life. After nearly 2hours of long discussion, I have agreed to listen with a condition that I don’t want to go to the same school and like to join new school and preferably girls school. For which both my parents agreed.
My journey towards being a girl started now. Next day I have been discharged from the hospital, but for the next one week we stayed in our guest house and in the mean time dad took a rented house . Before going to the rented house, my mom bought all the clothes like half saree, salwaar, skirts and other night wear clothes for me so that I start my journey as a girl.
My brother to complete 10th std by staying in aunt’s house and my dad planned to visit him every Sunday and take care of his education. Before moving to the new house, my mom called my grand parents and some important guests. On that day, my first ceremony as girl was celebrated as my aunt and uncle gave me half saree. It was different feeling as for the first time, I wore half saree. I still remember it was a lovely half saree. As I had boy hair cut, my mom added me a extra hair and kept lot of jasmine flowers. I could not face my dad that day as I felt very shy. From that day, my relation with mom increased very much. That was the beginning of the day where I stopped wearing the boy’s clothes. I was really feeling shy to talk to every one. But my mom was very happy that now she has a daughter. My grand mother was praising me a lot that I am looking beautiful. But my mom was constantly behind me to ensure that I sit properly and adjust my half saree properly.
After one week, we moved to the house. Every one used to ask me why I cut my hair. I felt very much uncomfortable when they used ask these questions. My regular check up with the doctor started and to begin with I was asked to take hormone tablets to restrict the male hormones and develop the female hormone. After nearly two months, my menses cycle became normal and now I developed breast. Initially during the night time I was just on nighty, but after one month, my mom ordered me to wear the petticoat inside the nighty. It was really nice smooth feeling to wear petticoat. Though it restricted my movement, I started accepting. I could not study 6th standard.
My hormone medication continued for 6 months and my dad’s business grew very rapidly after moving to Bangalore. Slowly my relation with Dad started to blossom. I started feeling comfortable talking to him and I realized how much he loves me. Even psychiatrist and Doctor surprised to see change in my body and behavior. After 6 months, surgery day arrived and I have been operated successfully. After 5 hours of surgery, declared that I am out of danger and can be discharged after 10 days. Those 10 days were really painful in my life.
After discharging from hospital, it was really different feeling as I do not have any thing hanging between my thighs and was really feeling comfortable. My monthly cycle is pretty normal. Though my studies taken a big hit, I was not bothered as my health stabilized. I remember my first rakhi very well when I tied rakhi to Vamsi, he gave me my favorite Dairy milk chocolate .
Whenever dad used to travel on official trips, he always used to bring me either clothes or other things. It became a habit for him to see me before going to bed and used ask me how am I feeling, whether I am ok and spend about 15 to 20 mins with me every night. But after becoming girl, my mom became very strict with me and she started teaching all the kitchen work and help me how to be a good girl like when to talk and how to behave in front of others and how to manage half saree and other things.
After 6 months of break from my school, I got admitted in Bangalore school which is meant only for girls. My life took a big change after joining school. I have been accepted as a girl and soon became a best friend for so many classmates and became best student in the class. My brother Vamsi got the good marks in his 10th std and he got admitted into the best college.
Before attending the school, at home always used to be half saree and bangles on both the hands. But as I was not supposed to wear any bangles to school, my habit of wearing the bangles gone. Mom started scolding me to wear bangles and bindi. Even after coming from school, I stopped wearing the half saree and started feeling more comfortable in salwar and kurtas. Though my dad never used to say anything, but my mom used to ensure that on every festival I wear halfsaree. Even in the house , my health issues never became topic for discussion and everyone accepted me the way I am. During one of the festival, couple of best friends came home and all were shocked to see me in half saree and appreciated the way I look.
That was the time when my friendship with Deepa who is my senior in school but of my age became close friends. She is a kind of very dominating in nature. But she likes me very much. Everyone in school used to treat as sisters. Due to some hormonal problems, she was not matured physically at that time (meaning she was not getting periods) though most of the girls of my age are having this pleasure pain by that time. She always used to be worry when ever we girls used to discuss about our menses and changes in our body. She used to pull me from those discussions and say non-sense discussions. I never used to say anything to her, because we like each other company and discuss on better things. I think she started getting periods in the 9th std, it was grand celebration in her house, though they made it very private like my function. I was the only outsider who attended that function. She felt so happy be seeing me that day and she was wearing her first half saree that day. We both hugged for the first time and both felt very happy that day.
By the time I was finishing my 9th std, dad bought a beautiful house and we moved to our own house. My friendship with Deepa keep on growing solidly and she finished her 10th std with good marks and joined the prestigeous college and it was necessary for me to follow her footstep. I studied very well and finished my 10th std.Got admitted to the same group and in the same college as a junior. Before joining the college, me and Deepa enjoyed for a 10 days in our house as both mom and dad went to US to arrange things for my brother as he got selected for MS .
That was the beginning of extended relation between me and Deepa. That time I realised how much she loves me. She requested me to wear a saree, though I was not good at it wearing saree, but after several attempts, I got it perfectly. As I do not have any saree, I took my mom saree.
But always she preferred to be in shorts and T-shirts. But like my mother, she insisted me to be either in saree or half saree. That night is still in front of eyes. That is the first night after my parents left to US. I got tired after trying saree and slept on saree. Suddenly at mid night, I saw Deepa was touching and caressing my breast and navel. I was not aware what she was trying to do. I pretended as if I was sleeping. After some time, she tried to remove my blouse hooks and started sucking my boobs. I tried to stop her, but she was in no mood. After several stops, I left to see what she wants from me. She removed my saree and made me nude and first time I realised what is sex. I was still closing my eyes and she removed her clothes and inserted a dildo into my vagina. Though it was very painful but it was beautiful. She kissed my entire body and sucked my breast very hardly. After some time, I took the lead and inserted dildo into her vagina. We really enjoyed that first night. We both slept very late and could not get up even the servan maid was ringing the bell. About 10 in the morning and got up. As we both could not get up when the servant maid came, we ended up having the breakfast and lunch.
But next day, I told very clearly, I don’t want to spoil my mom’s saree. But she refused and requested me to be atleast by half saree. Though I resisted, but unable to see her sorrow face, surprised her by wearing my favourite white saree.
The moment she saw me she was dumb and surprised. She asked me now I realise why you locked the door for so much time. At that time, she was in nighty, she requested and went to washroom and changed to shorts and T-shirt. When asked why you changed, she mentioned “how can Rajini’s husband be in nighty?”. We both laughed at each other and prepared delicious dinner and watched TV and some porn video websites. When I thought of changing to nighty, she pulled me back and asked to sit down for some more time . We kept on watching till 10.00PM . After some time, she kept her hands on my pleats and mentioned how neat my pleats are!! She started counting my pleats,kissed on it and slowly removed my pleats. Though I was stopping her, but she was in no mood. With in minutes, saree was on sofa and we both were on bed. I was on blouse and petticoat. She lifted my petticoat and removed my panty. When I asked her what you are doing. She requested me to remove blouse and bra. Now I am just on white petticoat, covering breast with my hands. She removed my hands & took my hand and made me to touch her vagina. I was shocked to see that she has kept a dildo there which is dual one (meaning one side of dildo will be in her vagina like a penis and other side will be a penis to insert into my vagina). When iwas asking how you got this, she just closed my mouth and lifted my petticoat. She inserted the dildo deep inside my vagina. We both were moaning heavily. We both ended up having love bytes at our breast. It was more enjoyable than yesterday as we both were enjoying at the same time. It was beautiful night. Next day, both had little bit pleasure pain at pussy, but we were enjoying each other company. Till before last one day, we enjoyed,but last day before my parents arrival, I got my periods and we could not enjoy it. But it was really fun altogether.
Could not realize how soon I completed my +2 and joined the same engineering college Deepa studying.
Engineering college was full of fun. Just because of Deepa’s friendship I could aviod the ragging. But still remember my fresher’s day where it is necessary to be in saree for all the girls on that day. So before that night, I took my saree and other inner clothes to Deepa’s house so that I can go with her in her car. As normally we share our clothes and items. So that night I took Deepa’s nighty and petticoat. After after nearly 15 months, we enjoyed our intimate relation again. Though we had enjoyable night, we got up early and attended the college in saree.
Everyone praised me and reached home in saree only. My dad really felt happy after seeing and smiled at & said, “my baby became big, I need to look a boy for my baby.
During the fresher’s party, first time, I met my hubby Rajesh. Its only after 6 months, I got to know from Deepa that he is totally and totally interested in me. And he is behind Deepa for a introductory meet with me. Deepa ensured that I first finish my education and Raghu to finish his education and settle in life before going for affair. She protected me in college at each and every occasion.
Could not realise how quickly I finished my college and joined MNC. Surprisingly for the first time after education, I joined a different company which Deepa is not part of. But we were sharing the same campus and I happen to join the same company where is Raghu is working. I Still remember, it was during the company all hands meeting in the Amphi theater, where we met for the first time after the college. We discussed about the college days and exchanged our numbers. Slowly after 3 months, our good night and good bye calls became more and started liking each other.
Time went so fast and we got engaged.
we both finished our engineering and ended up working in the same company. It was all fun working in the same company and we had really great time.
Even now me and Deepa are in touch with each other and now we are family friends we both enjoy our intimacy when our respective husbands are busy in their life .